A month has passed since I came back from exploring the world to sit in a cube and continue with my advertising career in NYC and it feels like this dramatic transition is just starting to sink in.
Dealing with transitions is something that we need to do throughout our life, yet while we have done it several times in our lives, as we grow up, when we move to another place, when we lose someone we love, they are still hard to overcome.
It is hard to describe what I’m experiencing right now both emotionally and mentally. Not only do I lack vocabulary to describe it, but I myself don’t understand what’s happening. Lately I have been experiencing an inevitable urge to cry, but I’m not sure why. Are the tears fueled by sadness that the trip is “over”? Are they a mechanism to force me to think of this transition and deal with it, given that I haven’t given myself the time to digest it as a result of my current workload? Or are they from happiness of having had the amazing opportunity to experience a year abroad? Who knows, but I do hope I figure it out.
I don’t want to think of it as coming back to real life, because that implies that what happened was not real, and it sure was. Even though on the surface it almost feels that I just woke up from a dream, that nothing really changed, that last year didn’t happened and that I never left the frenzy of NY’s work and social life. Yet at times I feel completely out of place, I go with the flow given that everything is so familiar to me, but something feels off. Kind of weird isn’t it?
Deep inside I know things are now different and that something did change within me and in the way I see and relate to this world. I believe all experiences shape you to become a better person. But it isn’t until you face certain circumstances when this new you surfaces and you can really see the change. Until then I guess I’ll just have to go with the flow, cherish the memories and look into the future (for future adventures J )
PS. I thank Diego for last year and for his unconditional support & love, my friends for giving me that sense of belonging, and my family for always being there to cheer me up.
Goodbye noodles. (snif!)